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Nats language

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Nats (formerly known as Natspeak) is a language variety of Istvanistani spoken throughout Natopia and some parts of Iserdia in Elwynn. Certain phrasing and grammar have developed in Nats to distinguish it from Istvanistani. Nats can be written using the Latin alphabet or the Natopian alphabet.

The Natopabet

Nats was originally developed to use its own alphabet, which is directly derived from the Latin alphabet and developed as a type of secret code using the 'negative spaces' of the letters. When it was adapted to be used on computers, it lost some of its ease of use.

The Natopabet is perhaps the oldest cultural relic Natopia has, however it is the least used and least known cultural relic. Old Natopian was first constructed c. 1473, soon after the founding of Natopia as a city. Old Natopian is characterized by a simple principle: negative letters. Starting from the Latin alphabet, the Natopabet's creator simply joined the unconnected ends of letters, and erased the remainder of the letter. This left the "negative" of a letter. At first glance, Old Natopian was gibberish, yet once told the "secret" it was easily read with some concentration and imagination. The main drawback to Old Natopian was that each letter required twice, sometimes three times, the pencil strokes to write it, making writing inefficient and typing the alphabet was impossible.

However, c. 1507, the Natopabet was almost totally rewritten. New Natopian is more simplistic, somewhat easier to write, and able to be used online. Some letters retains the integrity of their Old Natopian counterpart, and some are distinctly different. There are no upper or lower cases in the Natopian Alphabet, all letters in Old Natopian were based off of the capital cases of Latin letters, so therefore, Natopian letters are capital case by default. The Natopabet was designed to be a code for brief, sensitive messages, and thus very few public documents or books have been written with this alphabet.

The use of the Natopian alphabet is generally reserved for ceremonial documents, titles on official proclamations, on government buildings, and in architecture. Most Natopian school children are instructed how to read and write Natopian letters in their 4th year of elementary school, after learning cursive script. The Opaeied is commonly transcribed into Natopian letters for students.


Latin Letter Natopian Letter
A џ
B 3
C ]
D [
F ?
G 7
H -
I _
K ۷
M w
N v
O :
P *
R 2
U (
V \
W n
X ^
Y )


Natopian numerals were also derived using the same technique used to create Old Natopian characters. These numerals have changed over time and are New Natopian numerals:

Arabic Numeral Natopian Numeral
1 L
2 o
3 Ξ
4 Λ
5 Γ
6 b
7 Ҹ
8 Р
9 p

Useful Words

Istvanistani Nats
BOVIC 3:\_]
OF :?

Waffel-Paine's Dictionary

Waffle-Paine's Dictionary of the Natspeak Language

Copyright 2005 4th Edition - Published in Lindstrom City


The Natspeak language is a dialect of the English language, more specifically a dialect of American English. Therefore, instead of defining every word in the language, this dictionary will only define Natopian words by giving their American English equivalent. Many contractions have been officialized, as have slang and alternative spellings.

n. Noun | v. Verb | adj. Adjective | adv. Adverb | interj. Interjection | pl. Plural | abbr. An abbreviation of an English word | conj. A conjunction of two or more English words | alt. An alternate spelling of an English word | pr. Pronounced as... | esp. Especially

    • Agonosis - n. The syndrome of tuning into "X-Sports" every Saturday just to watch a skater rack himself
    • Agreeance - n. the act of agreeing
    • Ansteal - v. To steal an antenna ball or other topping device
    • Anthelian - adj. Something that goes on behind the scenes; esp. with malicious intent
    • B+ Stampede - n. The attempt by half the classroom to claim the paper with no name on it
    • Bargue - v. To whine, fuss, and complain a great deal while at the same time trying to get someone to see your point of view
    • Bitchings - n. Complaints
    • Blooshum - adj. The odor prevalent in most Big Lot retail stores
    • Bovilexia - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow
    • Bozatch - n. an insulting term, derived from 'bitch'
    • Bozone - n. The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating
    • Brazillion - n. An immeasurable number
    • Carperpetuation - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance
    • Caterpallor - n. The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating
    • Cheedle - n. The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos, or after performing Cheeto-tot
    • Cheeto-tot - n. ancient Natopian rite of killing someone with Cheetos
    • Clearance-racking - v. The act of checking the clearance rack at Hot Topic.
    • Clunes - n., pl. People who just won't go away
    • Cromulent - adj. Acceptable
    • Combiloops - n. The two or three unsuccessful passes before finally opening a combination locker
    • Coudna - conj. Could not
    • Couting - v. To look for a corduroy jacket; esp. while junking or thrifting
    • Coz - abbr. Because
    • Cul-de-sacing - v. To drive around a cul de sac, usually more than once.
    • Dictoformology - n. The creation of new words.
    • Didja - conj. Did you
    • Domester - n. The Minister of Domestic Affairs.
    • Dopeler effect - n. The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
    • Dun - conj. Do not
    • Dunno - conj. Do not know
    • Dunwano - conj. Do not want to know
    • Dya - conj. Do you
    • Dyawana - Conj. Do you want to
    • Efforex - n., v. Substitute
    • Embiggen - v. To make larger
    • Epiphanic - adj. Having the qualities of an epiphany
    • Es - conj. It is
    • Execuglide - v. To propel oneself about an office without getting up from the chair
    • Gapiana - n. The unclaimed strip of land between the "you are now leaving" and "welcome to" signs when crossing a border
    • Gepissed - adj. To be angry
    • Godacle - n. A miracle
    • Godicleitis - n. A severe rash of the penis that causes it to become very white and glowing
    • Init - conj. Is it not
    • Ima - conj. I am going to
    • Joe-face - n. Refers to the faces that Joe Hunot makes during 4th hour programming class.
    • Joel print - n. The imprint left in the dust on top of a car from Joel's body
    • Junking - v. To obtain useless or used things for very cheap; esp. from garage sales
    • Jus - alt. Just
    • Kk - n. To show agreeance
    • Lavalonian - adj. Something that does not work, despite many attempts to get it right
    • Looping - v. To spontaneously go to the University City Loop
    • Mittsquinter - n. A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there
    • Moosik - n. Music for those who have a passive interest in the hobby
    • Necrobotnophilia - n. The love of dead plant life.
    • Nite - alt. Night
    • Nocturnal Regression - n. A disorder where the afflicted becomes progressively more stupid as the nite goes on, yet regains all mental faculties the following day
    • Nozatch - n. Derogatory term for a nosy person.
    • Par-tay alt. Party
    • Penciventilation - n. The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it
    • Quejabejion - conj. Quit your bitching
    • Ruff - alt. Rough
    • Satanacle - n. An inexplicable act that produces an undesirable effect, opposite of miracle
    • Satanicleitis - n. A severe rash of the scrotum, producing a very hot sensation
    • Scificate - v. To relate ordinary things to science fiction
    • Schmiddle - n. The hole in the center of a bagel. "The cream cheese was oozing out from the shmiddle."
    • Simpsize - v. To relate ordinary things to "The Simpsons" (alt. Simpsonsize)
    • Smlown - v. n. A facial feature resembling both a smile and a frown
    • S'ok - conj. That is okay
    • Tharping - adv. Describes a violent attempt to hurt someone.
    • Thas - conj. That is
    • Thrifting - v. To obtain useless or used things for very cheap; esp. from thrift store
    • Totting - v. The act of performing Cheeto-tot
    • Transactionist - n. One who performs a monetary transaction
    • Tuff - alt. Tough
    • Udderent adj. Displaying qualities of an udder.
    • Wank - n. - An insult referring to a dumb male who makes another go to an Art Club meeting at Mehlville Senior High
    • Wanna - conj. Want to
    • Whatcha - conj. What are you
    • Wootness - interj. Used to express joy, encouragement, or triumph. Usually followed by a marking of degree such as 'times 10' depending on the level of importance of the expression

Natspeak Phrases

Certain phrases are unique to Natspeak and are explained in brief in this appendix.

  • Making chaos: Used to excuse oneself to the toilet.
  • Speaking of chaos: Used as a segue between completely unrelated topics.