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Funeral of Emperor Nathan III

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On the morning of 23.III.1716, Emperor Nathan III was found dead in his bed by his husband Makhmud. The reason for his death was unknown and investigations began immediately, though no foul play was indicated. Immediately upon his death, in accordance with his instrument of succession, the throne passed to his sister Vadoma, who was Empress of the West at the time.

The Court of Vista de Nada began planning a funeral, to be held on 10.IV.1716 in the Cathedral-Basilica of the Sacred Calf, in a Bovic ceremony officiated by his own sister and successor, Vadoma, who is also Bosarch of Lindström, and Sergius Hergones, Pentheros of Dozan Bovic Church.

Confirmed attendees

The Late Emperor's family and extended family

  • Emperor-Emeritus, Nathan Anders Aharsi Waffel-Paine & Drak, father of the late emperor
  • Dowager Emperor Consort Makhmud Kalimatov and Dowager Empresses Consorts Christina McHolme and Sophia Neil, husband and wives of the late emperor
  • Prince Nathaniel Kalimatov Waffel-Paine, Prince Kilynn Neil Waffel-Paine, and Princess Zava McHolme Waffel-Paine, children of the late emperor
  • Co-Emperor Edward of Western Natopia, brother-in-law of the emperor, along with his and Empress Vadoma's children, Adelaide Carrillo y Waffel-Paine, Guinevere Carrillo y Waffel-Paine, John Carrillo y Waffel-Paine, and Ferdinand Carrillo y Waffel-Paine, nephews and nieces of the late emperor (Empress Vadoma will not attend the funeral, she will officiate it)
  • Leonora Noor Waffel-Paine, sister of the late emperor
  • John Hilding Drak & Waffel-Paine, brother of the late emperor, along with his husband and wives Loki Drakspunk, Qaren Queenie, and Griselia Smith, and their children Lisa Drak & Waffel-Paine, Aurica Queenie Drak & Waffel-Paine, Dorian Queenie Drak & Waffel-Paine, Sehml Smith Drak & Waffel-Paine , Heidi Smith Drak & Waffel-Paine, and Paul Queenie Drak & Waffel-Paine.
  • Rani Salome of Tas Neemia, Princess Kian Aiomide Shahnaz, Prince Rubin Leonid Orientalis, step-siblings of the late emperor
  • Clara Sundara Waffel-Paine & Drak, aunt of the late emperor, and Cledwyn Starshade, her husband, and their children Carl Starshade of Waffel-Paine, Stav Starshade of Waffel-Paine, and Fen Starshade of Waffel-Paine, cousins of the late emperor

Representatives of Natopian governments

Representatives of foreign states

Others

Order of service

Introduction

After all the guests had arrived, a procession led by Empress Vadoma and Pentheros entered through the aisle in the cathedral. After the Empress and Pentheros followed junior officers of the Spacefleet, clad in their distinctive black leather uniforms, carrying the open casket of the late emperor. The emperor's body was preserved in butter, and a certain lactic aroma filled the air of the cathedral as the casket was carried inside.

Each row of the congregation rose to attention as the procession reached it. There was an eerie silence, except for the footsteps of the procession in unison, making a sombre clapping noise for each step.

Once the casket had arrived at the most holy position in the cathedral, for all in the cathedral to see, the Pentheros began:

"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to say farewell and good bye to our brother in Bous, Nathan Luix Elijah Waffel-Paine of Drak, Emperor Nathan III of the Natopians, Emperor of the East, as he embarks on his final journey to the place where Bous's gifts are plenty. There, every day, in the great Dairy-land of the buttery kingdom, he will eat as much bagels as he would ever like, and drink as much juice as he would ever desire."

First hymn

The congregation sang the first hymn.

And did those hoofs in ancient time,
Walk in Natopia's meadows green:
And was the holy Butt'ry Cow,
Eating from our grasses seen!
And did the Butter, thick and fat,
Melt down from our clouded hills?
And was His stable builded here,
Among these dark and heathen mills?
Bring me my Juice, so spark'ling gold;
Bring me the Bagels I desire:
Bring me all Butt'r my cup can hold!
Bring me all Milk from this shire!
I will not ever cease to moo,
And all Your calves will proudly stand:
Till Bous' stable has been built,
In Natopia's green and pleasant Land

Hymn written by Jack Lewis

Reading

The first reading was read by Makhmud Kalimatov, widow of the late emperor, and was taken from the Revelations of Saint Elijah:

If a soul has accepted its role as a slave to Bous, then that soul will be reborn in a body of butter, in the kingdom upon which the sun shines. Here, all nurture is given the people. They excel in all things, and they learn all there is to know in the universe. They will gain a perfect understanding of everything. They will grow into gods themselves, and as gods, they will take charge of a world far away. As gods, they will produce children, calves, of their own, and these children will be reborn as whatever creature they decide them to be on that planet, under the conditions of that planet, and things will ever be so well. You know that our dairy mother is the Butter Cow, right? And that our dairy father is the Butter Bull? Do you know how we can tell? Because we drink her milk when we’re born, from our own mothers.

Eulogy

The Empress spoke:

Indeed, the late emperor, my brother, accepted into the core of his soul the promise of Bous. As the slave of Bous, my brother served him and the herd upon this planet with grace, humility, and reverence. We shall always remember his ways.
Nathan Luix Elijah, or – Eli – as we called him in family, was born on the same day as me, his sister, and his sister Leonora and brother John Hilding. Unlike us all, the seed fron which he was brought had been intermixed with that of a satyr, giving him a distinctive caprine countenance, of which all of us other siblings were somewhat jealous.
Eli immediately captured the fascination of the public. As a gift to the Imperial family the famed Andrino artist, Gianni Bornino, sculpted a loving tribute to the two brothers being cared for by a mother goat, an allegory of the Natopian Nation. As the future emperor, he is already referred to as Nathan III. The birth of Eli also gave the Satyric Guard a much-needed bump to their public perception, the satyr guardsmen, strong and robust, fearsome and intimidating were proud to hypothesize that the new infant would inherit the strength and fortitude of the satyr, which assuaged the fears of the public that the baby was a genetic freak and oddity. Public perception quickly shifted after hearing of trouble in Shirekeep, and the idea of a strong and intimidating future leader became appealing in these uncertain times. Initial confusion and distrust of the human-satyr infant gave way to adoration as the public saw over several weeks the love and devotion given to Eli by his fathers and other family members.
In 1863-1684, Eli, along with his two sisters, moved from Anmuststadt to Lindstrom and all began their studies at the Nathan & Elijah College Preparatory School, fall semester 1683, located in northern Lindstrom. NECPS was considered to be the most prestigious high school in the capital city. During his first year, Eli became acquainted with the children of Representatives, Secretaries, CEOs, foreign Ambassadors, and a few children of foreign royals and nobles. He was constantly surrounded by people and attention, and soon it became distracting. At the end of his first semester he was in danger of failing several classes. His father made the decision to send him to Anshin University High School, in Andiopolis. It was an historic college in a small city, and Nathan II hoped his son would thrive in a smaller, slower-paced environment.
Whereas in Lindstrom, Eli's half-satyr features were well-known, celebrated, and honored; outside of the capital his goat-like features were less-commonly shown in media. His first day at AUHS, spring semester 1684, in the middle of the school year no less, was quite difficult for him. He jumped at the chance to get rid of his baby name, and introduced himself as Eli to teachers and students at his new school. Although he was not teased (everyone knew who he was) he was avoided. Eli quickly realized that his "friends" in the capital were perhaps only being his friends because of who he was and what their relationship would get them. Eli speculated that since they were all children of important people, their parents forced them to be friends with him so that they could possibly have the future, or current, emperor's ear. Andiopolis was a nice, yet unimportant city, no one needed, or wanted, to suck up to him here.
The rest of the semester was a lonely experience for Eli. He corresponded with his sisters frequently and every so often he would get a message from his brother John. Eli was immensely jealous of John, he was fully human and already asked to become the king of the Draconians. Eli was stuck here, with no friends, going to school until he was 18. At least at that time, Eli thought, his dad would let him take over some of the day to day governing of Flaventia.
In the summer of 1684, Eli toured Flaventia with his sisters, as was required by his father. This summer he visited Myrtilis, Tassity, Ashington, and Rostock. Myrtilis was a fascinating city, founded by Anticans years ago. He had been to Tassity many times, and was forced to participate in some ceremonies for the mayor. He hated ceremonies. Because of his legs, his formal uniforms used a kilt instead of pants and he thought it looked like a skirt despite everyone telling him "kilts aren't skirts! They are very manly." In Ashington he had more ceremonies, mostly because not many people came out that far. He met his cousin, Gwyn Moonoak, for the first time, but was just some old man. In Rostock, he toured the crystal mines north of town, and found that somewhat interesting. He attended some ceremonial ship launchings at the Rostock Shipyward where his sisters christened a few new ships.
In the fall of 1684, Eli returned to AUHS. The few students who hung around him were excited to share their summers of camping, amusement parks, and video games. He was embarrassed to say what he did, and just said he stayed at home. There was a new student this year, a small, sickly-looking kid by the name of Makhmud Kalimatov. Eli began to notice Makhmud was always following him around between classes, sat at the table next to him in lunch, and tried to get a locker next to his at P.E., but never spoke to him. After a few weeks, Eli finally had enough and wanted to know what Makhmud wanted. Makhmud kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke, "M-m-master... uh... Majesty? Highness?" Eli held up his hand, "Just Eli is fine for now. And look at me when you speak to me please." Makhmud nodded, then slowly raised his head, "Eli, I can't believe I'm in the same school as you. I've seen you on TV a few times, and I think you're amazing. I- I moved here. My parents fled from Raynor Point and we were resettled here. I can't believe you're real," Makhmud looked up and down Eli, lingering on his hooves and horns, "You are magnificent."
Eli took a few steps backwards. "Ah, you're Drak-Modani? So you're a Capric-Bovic? You... you use ..ugh...goat's milk... in your religious services?" Makhmud moved closer, "Yes, it's how I was raised. The goat is a magnificent creature, I always thought it was more worthy of reverence, than say... a cow." Eli's eyes got very wide, "That's borderline heretical," then Eli thought for a second, noticing the fear in Makhmud's eyes, "But that's kinda cool too. If you stop following me, and start hanging out with me instead, maybe we can be friends?" Makhmud's face lit up and he eagerly agreed, bowing his head and thanking Eli over and over for his graciousness. Eli thought to himself that he either just gained a fiercely loyal friend, or a fanatical disciple. But he was so lonely, maybe it didn't matter.
The Emperor, anticipating Eli's expanded role in governing Flaventia, ordered that Eli attend a new school each year so that he was thoroughly "Flavenized" and had a connection to each Land of Flaventia. After finishing his freshmen year at Andiopolis University High School, he was sent to Mardukhaven. He and Makmud continued to correspond.
Eli spent most of 1687 in Mardukhaven, learning about local customs and government. He toured the rest of Tas Neemia during his year too and came to know that the Tas Neemians were quite different. The Roblanders were quite distinct from the northern Tas Neemians, having been included in Ziegeland for many generations prior and consisting of people with both Babkhan and Gotzer heritage. He noted that the overworked bureaucracy of the rajastan was complicated by the fact that there were no subdivisions with legal authority. His capstone project in civics was a plan to organize the rajastan into three administrative subahs and retain the former ceremonial subdivisions as sarkars. He would keep "Robland" as Rabārṭa and subdivide Tas Neemia proper into Mūla in the west and Kūla in the east. These new subahs would have powerful Nawabs appointed to govern them and would align with the ducal governments in Ziegeland and Sororiya. Eli was so insistent on this plan that he submitted it, anonymously, to his father for approval. Eli was pleasantly surprised when during a routine update of the Faronic Constitution he saw in the amendment notes that his three Tas Neemian subdivisions were now integrated into the basic law.
In 1688 Eli left Tas Neemia and moved to Ashington where he attended the oldest school on the island, Z. Azillin Academy, named for the Alrodrian emperor who became a Natopian noble. Despite the close proximity to the core of Natopian culture on Yellow Island, Alrodey was often severely overlooked. Lindstrom City always greedily looked west towards continental domination. A brief resurgence occured when the Verionists set up here and that waned until a democratic branch of the Moonoak family relocated to the island from Hazelwood after the Great Fire. Eli was aware of discussions in Anmutstadt wanting to simply reintegrate the island back into Tas Neemia, but after several months on the island Eli knew that would never sit well with the Alrodeans--a large percentage of who actually still referred to their ethnicity as Muckapuck, the original name for the island from Z. Azillin. As fortune had it, Eli observed the Global Verionist Exile from the only Natopian area with Verionist history. Eli signed a petition and spoke publicly in favor of renaming the island. Local leaders jumped at the chance to shove off the remaining connections to Verionism and submitted a proposal to Anmuststadt to have the Island's name formally changed back to Muckapucky... and to re-annex the nearby island of Augustus which had been in legal limbo since the days of Treesia. The Faro agreed and named the two-island region as Nova Alrodria, and renamed Ashington back to Azingrad. The Faro sent a memo to his son after this second policy victory: "Well done, Son. You are making me incredibly proud. Your senior year will be in Sororiya, they have the best schools on Tapfer, the former student republic retains many of its scholastic traditions and high academic standards. The New School of Kierangrad at Aurochsburg has a college credit program for seniors, so you'll be concurrently enrolled in NSKA and Aurochsburg Central High School, so I would be impressed just maintaining an A average."
When his father turned 55, Nathan-Luix was included in more of the daily administration of the empire. Nathan-Luix began receiving the same daily security updates that his father received, sat in on meetings of the Imperial Council, and observed other state affairs with his father. During Nathan II's 59th birthday address, in 1703, the emperor announced plans to abdicate the day after his 60th birthday, in 1704, to ensure the empire was ruled by a young, vibrant, and energetic individual for decades. He hoped that his abdication would set a precedent for future emperors to retire before they get too old and out of touch with current affairs, he cited the many problems endured by the nation caused by his great-grandfather dieing, resurrecting, languishing, and dieing again, during the end his 152-year life.
After being appointed to rule Flaventia when he was 27, and finally having some stability in his life, Nathan-Luix proposed to his long-time boyfriend, Makhmud Kalimatov. The two met each other during their 9th grade years when they both attended Anshin University High School in Andiopolis. Although the friendship began one-sided, as Makhmud, a Drak-Modani raised in the small Bovic Capric-rite idolized the goatlike features of Nathan, over time the two became good friends. They kept in touch as friends after Nathan was sent to a different high school in Flaventia each year. When Nathan knew that he would attend Nathan & Elijah College, he told Makhmud his plans, who accepted a wrestling scholarship at nearby Gustav Lindstrom University. Makhmud, who was a frail and sickly child, had developed a passion for physical fitness during his highschool years and became AUHS's star wrestler. By the end of their freshman year in college, their friendship had developed into a relationship.
After graduation the couple moved to Mardukhaven, where Nathan-Luix attended law school and Makhmud opened a gym and personal training company. During the three year law program, Makhmud's personal training company becomes very successful. Makhmud remains in Mardukhaven to run his business after Nathan graduates and takes two years to pursue various internships and observations throughout the empire. During this long-distance period of their relationship they take turns visiting each other every two weeks or vacationing together in Dos Gardenias, their favorite getaway.
When Nathan-Luix was appointed as Flaventian Minister-President, the couple bought houses in the capital cities, Anmutstadt and Tassity. At Nathan's suggestion, Makhmud opened gyms in the capitals and Hazelwood City in order to have a presence in all corners of Flaventia. After a year long engagement, the couple was married in a Bovic ceremony in the Cathedral of Saint Sherrith, in Anmutstadt with an additional ceremony conducted in Tassity and a hazkisi root-binding blessing in the Sacred Glade.
In early 1703, the couple announced that they had befriended a lesbian couple from Duck Head Bay, Transegale, and would begin the process of entering into a Quadratic Marriage with the two women. Nathan II, as Avatar of the House of Waffel-Paine, advised that such a union would be beneficial for the House and granted his support to the engagement. A spokesperson for the House issued a statement: "The House of Waffel-Paine has endured for nearly two centuries by embracing diversity. For generations, the Avatars of the House have advised marriages and matings in such a way to bring about a unified Flaventian identity within Nathan II and his sister Clara. A we enter into a new century, we must look forward, towards bringing together all Natopians. It is for this reason that the Avatar has recommended that the marriage of Nathan-Luix and Makhmud join with the marriage of Sophia McHolme-Neil and Christina McHolme-Neil to form a Perfect Quadratic Marriage."
In IV.1704, eight months before Nathan-Luix was scheduled to ascend to the Natopian throne, the two couples were united into a Bovic Quadratic Marriage ceremony conducted by the Pentheros on national television at the Cathedral of Saint Sherrith in Anmutstadt.
In 1707, the Emperor emerged from a 3-year reclusive period, during which the only public appearances he made were for Natopia Day speeches, formal openings of the Frenzy, and occasional attendances at Herd. He was seldom seen with all spouses. Nathan handled his imperial duties remotely, living in Anmutstadt. Throughout the period, the family spokesperson only responded that deeply personal and private matters were keeping the family at home together. Tabloids ran wild with accusations of marriage trouble and opinion pieces against the inevitable failure of Bovic polyamory. The entire Imperial Family invited an NNN reporter to their estate in Anmutstadt, where it was announced that the family was expecting a child. It was revealed that Makhmud, Emperor-consort, was pregnant with Nathan III's child by way of natural conception. Makhmud spoke briefly about the complexities of being a trans man and wanting to bear a child, and doing it with literally the entire world watching. The imperial family reduced its public appearances during the early phases of discussions, stopping his hormones, and the pregnancy itself out of respect for Makhmud's privacy, as any public appearance would instantly out him. But as he announced on NNN, he was only a month away from his due date, so there would be no more hiding the birth of the heir to the Natopian throne! That sort of thing had to be announced. The House of Waffel-Paine released a statement after the segment aired stating its immense pride and support for the Imperial Family, also saying that "the Avatar of the House, Emperor-emeritus Nathan II, is extremely excited to be a grandfather for the seventh time." Nathaniel was thus born.
Thereafter, Eli and Makhmud were blessed with a quadratic marriage after Christina McHolme-Neil and Sophia McHolme-Neil joined them in their matrimonial union, soon expanding the family to also include the two children Kilynn and Zava.

Communion

Buckets of butter were delivered around the congregation. Each member of the congregation was invited to take a spoon, scoop a spoonful of butter, and hold it, waiting for the blessing to consume it.

The Pentheros spoke:

Thus saith Bous: "Gather ye the butter, and eat it, feel ye the salty and creamy taste that butter shalt have, and take ye note of the right nuance of colour." Our Lord commands us to eat the butter with reverence, with the use of all our senses. This is the taste of the Buttery Quadrant itself, and it is the same taste that Nathan will have on his resurrection in Dairyland.
Now, eat ye the butter!

The members of the congregation then ate their butter.

Second hymn

Come, come, ye fools, no angst nor strangeness fear;
But with joy, milk the Bull!
Though hard to you this labour may appear,
Milk will touch every fool!
'Tis better far for us to strive
our useless cares from us to drive:
Do this, and milk your minds will swell -
All is well! All is well!
Why should we frown or think less of His horde?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the light?
Go up his loin, fresh courage take.
Our Bull will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell:
All is well! All is well!
We'll find the place which He for us prepared,
all the way through His rest;
Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid;
There the fools will be blessed.
We'll milk the bull, our bodies sing,
Shout praises to our god and king;
Above the rest these words we'll tell:
All is well! All is well!
And should we not appraise our Butter Bull,
Hate that day! Nothing's well!
We then are slaves to margarine and fools,
With the cursed we shall dwell!
But if our lives are spared again
To please the Bull, his milk obtain,
Oh how our hearts will surely swell --
All is well! All is well!

Commendation

The Empress spoke:

My calves,
"Why should we we think to earn to a great reward if we now shun the light? Go up his loin, fresh courage take! Our Bull will never us forsake! And soon we'll have this tale to tell: All is well! All is well!"
Indeed, faith takes courage, but without faith our rewards and blessings will not come. Let us use our faith to bring Nathan to Dairyland, as his faith will ease their journey there. Together, we help him there, and together we will help each other there. There, all is well, all is well.
Let us now commend the spirit of Nathan to Dairyland.
O Mighty Bous – accept our faith and submission – and shine forth a path for your calf Nathan to go from the land of Inbetween, the fortress of souls in darkness, to go to your land, the land where your gifts are plenty. Make his heart swell, make it all well. Accept Nathan into your land of the light of Dawn, raise him as you have promised, in your image, in butter, where he may join his ancestors, where all is well. Acow!

The Pentheros then spoke directly to the casket where Nathan lay:

Go forth into the unknown, travel the darkness into the land of promises. Bous will shine a path with the light of dawn, for you to travel on, so that you may find Dairyland

Last hymn

How mighty Bous is, our god!
A fortress never failing!
Our leader he is with his rods.
We never him cease hailing.
His rods us discipline,
from margarine we're rinsed.
His wit and pow'r are great.
And armed with cruèl hate,
on Earth is not his equal.
If we in our own strength confide,
Our striving would be losing,
Were not the right one on our side:
Only Bous's own choosing.
Dost thou ask who that may be?
The Empress is she!
Whatever is her name,
From age to age the same,
She owns our whole allegiance.
That bull above all earthly bulls
In us always abideth.
What joy! With us, his lowly fools,
The mighty Bous sideth.
Let friends and fam'ly go,
this mortal life also;
The body they may kill:
Bous abideth still,
We his fools are forever.

Exit

Thereafter, each and every member of the Satyric Guard, the goat-like satyr men and women, all strong and robust, entered the cathedral walking towards the casket, and they placed the casket on trolley, and each member of the Guard having a rope attached to the trolley, they then began pulling the casket-trolley out of the cathedral, out to the streets of Lindström where they would show him around in all major cities, giving the faithful a glimpse of their fallen emperor, before he would be interred in the grounds underneath the Palace of Vista de Nada, in a private ceremony only for the family.

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