Cibolan Cake Declaration

The Cibolan Cake Declaration was a Micras-wide radio message transmitted on 20 II 1702 by Mondo Etzeterra, so-named for its prominent cake-related metaphor. The declaration announced Etzeterra's reawakening from a length period of necrotic hibernation and signalled his intention to claim various unoccupied lands on the continent of Cibola that had once been ruled by the House of Rossheim.

Historical Background

The House of Rossheim had ruled large tracts of southern Cibola from the 1590s, eventually founding the Kingdom of Leichenberg. The last vestiges of Rossheim rule were effectively ended by the White Plague of the 1660s and their former dominions were largely subsumed within the Grand Duchy of Helderbourgh, which itself became part of the Kingdom of Batavia in 1672. The subsequent withdrawal of Batavian rule from southern Cibola left these lands without effective government.

In 1660, the eccentric lich Mondo Etzeterra emerged in the former Minarborian territory of Highbloom. Claiming descent from the Rossheimers, Etzeterra quickly established a semi-independent territory in the area. The following year, however, he lapsed into necro-torpor and his statelet fell under Kalgachi protection.

Text of the Declaration

Salutations!

I am Mondo and I have awoken.

I am informed that the world looks very different since I was last about. Many countries have risen and fallen without ever having had the chance to be a friend of Mondo. This is a very sad thing.

I am also informed that lands once belonging to my ancestors now like vacant and unwanted. This is also a very sad thing.

I am going to correct these things. Nothing spreads friendship quite like a party, so I am going to create one. And because every party needs cake, it is essential to secure for myself a slice of this magnificent Cibolan cake. Which is an odd thing to say as Cibola is a continent rather than an edible confection, but then I do not eat normal cake anyway so it all makes perfect sense.

My new cake shall comprise the territory of the former Leichenbergish bailiwicks of Leichenberg, Leichenhafen, Neumarket, Neurossheim, Oberwald, and Oeschental, which the people of Helderbourgh do not seem to want anymore. I want them for Mondo things.

But Mondo, I hear you say...you are nowhere near Cibola. How will you establish and maintain effective occupation of your slice of Cibolan cake from the landlocked centre of Bernicia?

That is a very insightful question. I shall use the power of friendship, which ignores boundaries of space and time...and by pressing this large button I created earlier.

But Mondo, I hear you say...what does the large button do?

That is another very insightful question. The button transmits a sequence of encoded signals to the minions of my ancestors hidden in those territories. They will then become friends of Mondo!

But Mondo, I hear you say...I want to be your friend too. Do you also have a button for that?

Unless I have your emergency override protocols, unfortunately not at this time. You can still be a friend of Mondo though!

I need to go and do more Mondo things but I shall contact you again soon. This transmission ends now.

Claimed Territories

Map showing extent of territories claimed by Mondo in the declaration