Great Goat Heist Incident

Great Goat Heist Incident
Part of Streïur uis Faïren
Date 12.II.1739 AN Location Border between Xianbei Province (Shireroth) and Senyan Arboria (Senya) Result Claimed victory of Shireroth over dangerous Senyan goats
Belligerents
Son Gyan (lieutenant)	Unknown
Strength
Imperial Forces (5 border guards and one idiot of a lieutenant)	Imperial Forces (4 border guards, 23 goats)
Casualties and losses
Son Gyan's career	4 or 5 goats

The Great Goat Heist Incident was a minor yet bizarre conflict that occurred on the Senyan-Shirerithian border during the Shiro-Benacian War. Despite its insignificance in the grand scheme of the war, the incident highlighted the tensions and absurdities that can arise from prolonged conflicts.

Background

In 1739 AN, a herd of Senyan goats - renowned for their intelligence and stubborn temperament - wandered across the Shirerithian border after an unattended gate in the Great Wall of Jingdao was left open. The goats entered the Elytherius Estate, a confiscated noble’s property temporarily repurposed as a logistics hub by the Shirerithian Armed Forces. The estate’s commanding officer, an ambitious but inexperienced lieutenant with the name Son Gyan, saw the intrusion as an affront to Shirerithian territorial sovereignty.

The goats, upon entering the estate, began to graze on sensitive supplies, trample crops, and disrupt operations. Shirerithian guards attempted to herd them back to the border but were met with surprising resistance. The goats proved elusive, aggressively defending their newfound territory. The situation escalated when Senyan border guards arrived to reclaim the animals. A heated argument broke out between the two sides, with both blaming the other for "provoking the goats". Tensions flared when the Shirerithians accused the Senyans of orchestrating the incident as an act of "agricultural sabotage," while the Senyans retorted with accusations of mistreatment of livestock.

The Standoff and Skirmish

The shouting match deteriorated into chaos when a shot was fired, its origin unclear. Both sides began exchanging fire, though aiming well above their opponents. Amid the gunfire, several goats were caught in the crossfire, resulting in the deaths of four or five animals. No human casualties were reported.

The skirmish ended when Shirerithian forces declared victory by arresting the surviving goats. The animals were promptly executed, allegedly to prevent further "border disruptions".

Peace Talks and Resolution

The incident prompted immediate diplomatic engagement. Senyan officials demanded compensation for the loss of their prized livestock, while the Shirerithians demanded reparations for the damage caused to the estate and military supplies.

Negotiations resulted in a peculiar agreement:

   The Shirerithians acknowledged that the slaughtered goats could be used to offset the damages to the estate.
   The Senyans agreed to reinforce their border fencing to prevent future "livestock incursions."
   Both sides issued statements reaffirming their commitment to agricultural sovereignty and peaceful coexistence.

The Goat Incident became a humorous yet poignant anecdote in the annals of the Shiro-Benacian War, emblematic of the tensions and absurdities that defined the era. The Senyan goats, though ultimately sacrificed, achieved an unlikely immortality in border folklore and inspired a satirical play titled “The Siege of the Jingdaoese Wall” in many Senyan and Shirerithian theatres (some actors in Greater Kildare who portrayed the lieutenant's stupidity too well often ended up being crippled by accident on a rather young age, for some unknown reason).