Message of Nathaniel the Returned
Message of Nathaniel the Returned is a holy Bovic scripture and the eighth scroll of the Book of Revelations.
The Last Message of Nathaniel the Returned
Revealed to Nathaniel the Returned, Bosarch of Elijah's Rest and New Aquitane
Thus saith the Butter Cow, through me, Nathaniel, his messenger. Listen carefully for I shall say this only once.
Fools! Darkness is upon this world. Wherever I go, I smell no holy butter. Margarine dost show itself everywhere. While the Vanics are everywhere, I see their love for their lowly gods held deeply in their breasts (and professed visibly!) but, alas, where do I see my calves? Do I see ye marching onwards, as to war? Are ye not fed the milk of my own sacred loin? Nay, march ye wherever ye may go, and spread my milk in every land, in every city, in every street. Let my milk flow all over this world. Churn ye diligently my milk, and make it butter.
(There is also the matter of wrongly churned butter. It hath been wrongly churned for quite a while, and this displeaseth the Buttery Quadrate muchly. A wrongly churned butter maketh butter smell ill and taste worse. Churn it rightly and diligently. The Bosarchs shall teach ye to churn my milk into butter in the way of righteousness. My lowly calf Nathaniel shalt be a sign unto ye. When he hath finished these words, I shall make him melt, and ye shall taste of the butter, for that is the taste the holy butter will be. Gather ye the butter, and eat it, feel ye the salty and creamy taste that butter shalt have, and take ye note of the right nuance of colour. Do this and ye shall know the secret churning recipe that maketh the butter taste as the Butter Quadrate itself.)
I now turn my attention to the Pentheros. He shalt sever the land of the resting place of Saint Elijah the Beloved from that of his Hegemony. The monks of Saint Elijah shall take on the government of Elijah’s rest, and they shall make his bed large and grand, his land shall go from sea to sea, and his sleep shall be undisturbed, so that many many people can share the bed with Elijah, and find peace and harmony there. Parents shall there find peace from the tantrums of toddlers, the whatevers of teenagers, and the poo, goo and pee of infants.The monks shall no longer be monks, but they shall, as all Bovics shall, march as to war, and spread my milk wherever they go. These monks are now Knights of the Holy Order of the Cult of Elijah. They shall be Order’s members, and each member shall be guided by and honour the holiest member, Elijah, and his cult. The Order, I order, shalt be an indisputable part of my Bovic Empire.
Acow. Now let the melting and tasting begin.
| Preceded by: The Revelation of Trials |
Book of Revelations 8 |
Succeeded by Apotheosis of Asara |
