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Natspeak is a semi-constructed language that was once used in Natopia.

The Natopobet

Natspeak uses its own alphabet, which is directly derived from the Latin alphabet and developed as a type of secret code using the 'negative spaces' of the letters. When it was adapted to be used on computers, it lost some of its ease of use.

The Natopabet is perhaps the oldest cultural item Natopia has, however it is the least used and least known cultural relic. Old Natopian was first constructed in the fall of 2002, months after the founding of Natopia as a city and perhaps mere weeks after the Reorganizations into a micronation. Old Natopian is characterized by a simple principle: negative letters. Using the Latin alphabet, the Natopabet's creator simply joined the unconnected ends of letters, and erased the remainder of the letter. This left the "negative" of a letter. At first glance, Old Natopian was gibberish, yet once told the "secret" it was easily read with some concentration and imagination. The main drawback to Old Natopian was that each letter required twice, sometimes three times, the pencil strokes to write it, making writing inefficient and typing the alphabet was impossible.

However, in August of 2005, the Natopabet was almost rewritten totally. New Natopian is much more simplistic and easier to write. New Natopian is, with some effort, able to be typed on a standard keyboard allowing for generous uses of Alt codes and inserting characters manually. Each letter retains the integrity of its Old Natopian counterpart, yet is, in some cases, distinctly different. There are no cases in the Natopian Alphabet, all letters in Old Natopian were based off of the capital cases of Latin letters, so therefore, Natopian letters are capital case by default. There is no punctuation in the Natopabet, pauses (commas) and full stops (periods) are implied by the length of spacing between words. Questions are implied by wording and exclaimed sentences should be written without spacing. The Natopabet was designed to be a code for brief, sensitive messages, and thus very few public documents have been written with this alphabet.

Latin Letter Natopian Letter
A џ
B 3
C ]
D [
F  ?
G 7
H -
I _
K ۷
M w
N v
O  :
P *
R 2
U (
V \
W n
X ^
Y )

Natopian numerals were also derived using the same technique used to create Old Natopian characters. These numerals have changed over time and are New Natopian numerals:

Arabic Numeral Natopian Numeral
1 L
2 o
3 Ξ
4 Λ
5 Γ
6 b
7 Ҹ
8 Р
9 p

Waffel-Paine's Dictionary

Waffle-Paine's Dictionary of the Natspeak Language

Copyright 2005 4th Edition - Published in Lindstrom City


The Natspeak language is a dialect of the English language, more specifically a dialect of American English. Therefore, instead of defining every word in the language, this dictionary will only define Natopian words by giving their American English equivalent. Many contractions have been officialized, as have slang and alternative spellings.

n. Noun | v. Verb | adj. Adjective | adv. Adverb | interj. Interjection | pl. Plural | abbr. An abbreviation of an English word | conj. A conjunction of two or more English words | alt. An alternate spelling of an English word | pr. Pronounced as... | esp. Especially


Agonosis - n. The syndrome of tuning into "X-Sports" every Saturday just to watch a skater rack himself

Agreeance - n. the act of agreeing

Ansteal - v. To steal an antenna ball or other topping device

Anthelian - adj. Something that goes on behind the scenes; esp. with malicious intent


B+ Stampede - n. The attempt by half the classroom to claim the paper with no name on it

Bargue - v. To whine, fuss, and complain a great deal while at the same time trying to get someone to see your point of view

Bitchings - n. Complaints

Blooshum - adj. The odor prevalent in most Big Lot retail stores

Bovilexia - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow

Bozatch - n. an insulting term, derived from 'bitch'

Bozone - n. The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating

Brazillion - n. An immeasurable number


Carperpetuation - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance

Caterpallor - n. The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating

Cheedle - n. The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos, or after performing Cheeto-tot

Cheeto-tot - n. ancient Natopian rite of killing someone with Cheetos

Clearance-racking - v. The act of checking the clearance rack at Hot Topic.

Clunes - n., pl. People who just won't go away

Cromulent - adj. Acceptable

Combiloops - n. The two or three unsuccessful passes before finally opening a combination locker

Coudna - conj. Could not

Couting - v. To look for a corduroy jacket; esp. while junking or thrifting

Coz - abbr. Because

Cul-de-sacing - v. To drive around a cul de sac, usually more than once.


Dictoformology - n. The creation of new words.

Didja - conj. Did you

Domester - n. The Minister of Domestic Affairs.

Dopeler effect - n. The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

Dun - conj. Do not

Dunno - conj. Do not know

Dunwano - conj. Do not want to know

Dya - conj. Do you

Dyawana - Conj. Do you want to


Efforex - n., v. Substitute

Embiggen - v. To make larger

Epiphanic - adj. Having the qualities of an epiphany

Es - conj. It is

Execuglide - v. To propel oneself about an office without getting up from the chair



Gapiana - n. The unclaimed strip of land between the "you are now leaving" and "welcome to" signs when crossing a border

Gepissed - adj. To be angry

Godacle - n. A miracle

Godicleitis - n. A severe rash of the penis that causes it to become very white and glowing



Init - conj. Is it not

Ima - conj. I am going to


Joe-face - n. Refers to the faces that Joe Hunot makes during 4th hour programming class.

Joel print - n. The imprint left in the dust on top of a car from Joel's body

Junking - v. To obtain useless or used things for very cheap; esp. from garage sales

Jus - alt. Just


Kk - n. To show agreeance


Lavalonian - adj. Something that does not work, despite many attempts to get it right

Looping - v. To spontaneously go to the University City Loop


Mittsquinter - n. A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there

Moosik - n. Music for those who have a passive interest in the hobby


Necrobotnophilia - n. The love of dead plant life.

Nite - alt. Night

Nocturnal Regression - n. A disorder where the afflicted becomes progressively more stupid as the nite goes on, yet regains all mental faculties the following day

Nozatch - n. Derogatory term for a nosy person.



Par-tay alt. Party

Penciventilation - n. The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it

Polish - (pr. the nationality) adj. Displays stupidity, arrogance, and/or any other negative characteristic


Quejabejion - conj. Quit your bitching


Ruff - alt. Rough


Satanacle - n. An inexplicable act that produces an undesirable effect, opposite of miracle

Satanicleitis - n. A severe rash of the scrotum, producing a very hot sensation

Scificate - v. To relate ordinary things to science fiction

Schmiddle - n. The hole in the center of a bagel. "The cream cheese was oozing out from the shmiddle."

Simpsize - v. To relate ordinary things to "The Simpsons" (alt. Simpsonsize)

Smlown - v. n. A facial feature resembling both a smile and a frown

S'ok - conj. That is okay


Tharping - adv. Describes a violent attempt to hurt someone.

Thas - conj. That is

Thrifting - v. To obtain useless or used things for very cheap; esp. from thrift store

Totting - v. The act of performing Cheeto-tot

Transactionist - n. One who performs a monetary transaction

Tuff - alt. Tough


Udderent adj. Displaying qualities of an udder.



Wank - n. - An insult referring to a dumb male who makes another go to an Art Club meeting at Mehlville Senior High

Wanna - conj. Want to

Whatcha - conj. What are you

Wootness - interj. Used to express joy, encouragement, or triumph. Usually followed by a marking of degree such as 'times 10' depending on the level of importance of the expression




Natspeak Phraseology Appendix

Certain phrases are unique to Natspeak and are explained in brief in this appendix.

Making chaos: Used to excuse oneself to the toilet.

Shun: An interjection, usually used with a hand gesture of the open palm to the "shunned" person. Implies dissatisfaction with the "shunned."

Speaking of chaos: Used as a segue between completely unrelated topics.